Staying Silent on the Web — a few thoughts on our lives online

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I learned a long time ago about the power of silence if and when used properly.

In music, it is often silence that gives depth and meaning to a song. Pink Floyd, for example, were great at using silence and minimal vocals to deliver powerful emotions. I was always amazed by how ‘Shine on You Crazy Diamond’, a song that lasted 13 minutes and 40 seconds, lacked a single vocal until the 8:48 mark. I’m still blown away every time the first words are sung.

In relationships, silence is your most powerful weapon to prove a point. One of my favorite lines of a song is in Royksopp’s ‘Remind Me’,“A brave man tells the truth, a wise man’s tools are analogies and proverbs. A woman holds her tongue knowing silence will speak for her.”

As a teenager my temper was raging and I realized that finding a solution wasn’t up to those around me it was up to me and I resorted to silence. At first, I arrogantly thought that not speaking my mind went against my freedom to do so; however, I quickly realized that biting my tongue even if just for a moment awarded me the time and ability to really phrase my responses effectively. That moment of silence was my opportunity to think about what I wanted from a situation and find the words that led towards meeting that goal. Silence helped me get what I wanted from people.

Anyone who has ever worked at a company that stirs controversy will tell you that there are times when to fall silent and times when you need to act. Good PR is knowing when to let a fire die down and when to douse the flames.

Today, on top of our every day interactions we have a number of tools that allow us to speak our minds instantly, openly, and with reach. As with any tool, we should take the time to learn how to use them responsibly and effectively. Biting your tongue and keeping silent can be a powerful tactic whether you are building your personal brand, your company’s brand, or just participating in the conversation.

Tagged as: pr, public relations, silence, social media

Elisa Doucette

Another important facet to the silence is the fact that it gives you the opportunity to really think about what you are going to say before you say it. Too often people are so quick to fill what we now term "awkward silences" that they feel the need to jump in and say the first thing they think of. I think Perez Hilton has more than exemplified this week why silence to think and then possibly react should always be one's course of blogging "attack."

PS - Shine on You Crazy Diamond, one of my fav's, ever!

rikin

As soon as I read about Perez I thought about how silence can prevent
you from makin a fool of yourself. That guy also needs to learn alot
of other lessons too.

Thanks for comin in by - shine on!

Anita Lobo

Great observation Rikin.
Learning to listen, as well as not adding to the 'noise' are equally important.
Staying silent on the web is in the same vein as the 'do no harm' philosophy
At a time when people are chasing number of followers/ tweets per day and other questionable metrics, its important to know that quality of engagement matters, and it requires us to create the space to listen, and then converse.
There are interesting bloggers [all of whom are not social media experts] who do not blog everyday, and have a legion of avid followers/ readers.
Silence fosters interest in whats next. It also gives the blogger space and time to bring together rich content.
Highly recommend this post to everyone who is engaging with the social web, to create a community or add value to business, or both!
Cheers
Anita Lobo

rikin

Thanks Anita - If I wrote this post again I think I may have focused on listening a little more as the 'what to do' when you're being silent. I don't think I've perfected the art of listening myself just yet so maybe I'm not the best to talk about it but it's definitely important.

I recently sat down with someone who I really admire and made a conscious effort to listen. I'll be honest it was hard not to just talk in the hopes that they liked what I had to say. Sometimes I forget that the art of listening is impressive too.

Matt Cheuvront

One of the common misconceptions social media 'newcomers' possess is this idea that they have to always be involved. That they have to be in every conversation, weigh in on every discussion, manage 30 different accounts at one time and be actively engaged in so many different social networks. But really, that matters the most, is the ability to tactfully manage an online presence (whether you are a business or individual). Know when to speak and know when to listen. Absorb just as much as you give out.

This is a key concept that many of us forget (I speak from experience above; I used to be one of those people trying to be involved in everything). One person cannot do it all.

Carlos Miceli

Absolutely Rikin, learning to listen it's best thing you can learn in business. And in life. One of my favorite things to do in a meeting is just sit back and not talk unless I'm talked to, just to understand people's minds. It's important to see what they're saying, how they're saying it, and what they're not saying.

We're being taught how to speak a lot more than how to listen. Big mistake, let's remedy that.

rikin

"We're being taught how to speak a lot more than how to listen" I wish I could have said it better myself in the post itself. In universities and courses around the world they always place an emphasis on public presentations but what about public participation? Participating is a two way street and I always find that listening is more rewarding than pushing my own ideals.

Great comment Carlos!

rikin elsewhere on the web

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